


where we left it

by ashleymrqzz



Category: Reylo Star Wars - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben Solo is sad, Breakup, Broken Heart, Depression, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Fluff, Han Solo - Freeform, Happy Ending, Kylo Is a surname, Morning Cuddles, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Parents Han and Leia, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Rey Needs A Hug, Rey has issues, Rey is alone, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Prompt, Senator Leia Organa, Tears, Therapy works on Ben sometimes, another chance, fake gf, leia protective mom, over again, reylo au, weird conversations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleymrqzz/pseuds/ashleymrqzz
Summary: Based on the prompt at @reylo_prompts:-“Ben’s anxious to attend his parent’s vow renewal knowing his mother’s PA—the woman who broke his heart—will be there. He asks his coworker to pretend to be his new girlfriend.Rey’s going to her boss’s vow renewal, hoping her ex, Ben, will give her another chance.”
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	1. inability to fall out of love

**Author's Note:**

> there’s gonna be two POV’s, Ben and Rey are gonna let us know how they feel...

** where we left it (Reylo AU) **

Ben solo thought he was doomed to have a miserable life the day his parents didn’t assist to his poetry recital when he was only 7 years old, he could see the loneliness of his life since that moment, because that was the beginning of many more destroyed memories he could easily blame his parents for, but the therapist has always told him that he shouldn’t blame anyone for the bad things that happen in life.

He had struggled of depression first when he was 15 years old, which cause his mother take him to see doctor Amilyn Holdo for the first time. His visits to the consultory had become regular since then, mostly for check up purposes. But he didn’t have a fucking idea what was he doing here anymore, being diagnosed with depression  again  at his age ( _31 years wasn’t that old_ ). Although he knew that was a lie, because he knew damn well why he was so sad all the time, and it has something to do with a girl that decided that he was no good at all for her. 

“Ben, this is serious, you need to get over that girl and move on, it has been a long time and I believe that the party is gonna be a great way to see that she doesn’t have an effect in you anymore. “ amilyn said, looking him with hope, probably, waiting for her dumbest patient to give up on a girl who never loved him. 

Ben listened, but none of the words could stay in his mind because all his thoughts now were filled with memories of Rey. The woman that he loved, it sounded so easy to forget her and move on when Amilyn said it, but he couldn’t. 

Even though he hasn’t see her in at least 7 months, he sees her every morning in the way he does his coffee ( _ because she told him he should put a little more of sugar in his black coffee and he’s being doing it since, although the taste doesn’t convince him at all _ ), the brand of peanut butter she make him buy because tasted better ( _ and he kept buying every time he goes for groceries _ ) and in all the small details she ended up filling his life with. She was light, happiness, joy and everything good he could think of. And he knew he doesn’t deserve none of that, he was used to be a zero to the left. 

Everything has seemed so perfect when he meet her, she was the new personal assistant of his mother, the great Senator Leia Organa, she smiled at him and that was all it took for Ben Solo to fall. He thought he was the luckiest man on earth when he ask her out and she said yes, and even more when she let him give her a farewell kiss on the lips. Ben was convinced that he had found the woman of his dreams, it didn't take him more than 3 dates to see her big heart, the amount of kindness she showed to everyone and her lovely manners. They started secretly dating after a few weeks and it lasted for about 9 months, it was hard to keep it private, especially because of his noisy mother but they managed. 

Too sad it didn’t last long. The thing was, Ben was 100% sure she was the love of his life, he adored her in every way that was possible and showed his love physically and verbally every time. Sadly, for Rey it was very hard to open herself, in all those 9 months they dated, she never said  I love you , not even in the bliss of sex when it was so good it make them both see the stars. And when he wanted to introduce her to his family, formally as a couple, it was the drop that spilled the glass. 

_ “I don’t think I’m ready, Ben, I know your mom but it’s different, it’s work, what if your father don’t like me or your mom thinks of me as a gold digger, i... can’t, I’m sorry but no.” said Rey, looking uncomfortable as hell.  _

_ “Rey, I love you, I don’t remotely care if they think bad of you, which I don’t think it’s possible, because that won’t change my feelings for you.” he said, holding her hands, looking right through her eyes, but he saw the fear.  _

_“I’m sorry Ben, but the thing is that I’m not sure if I love you and I feel extremely bad for it. I swear I’ve tried to reach that but I can’t, you’re the most amazing guy I have ever met, but... I’m sorry. I’m just not ready.” she had said, looking into his eyes, he couldn’t react, he felt like he had been punched._

And the feeling was still there, because there hasn’t been a real closure to their relationship. After that conversation, she left his place almost running. He called her a million times, went looking for her but she never came out or picked his calls. Ben spent a whole month trying to reach her, but she simply didn’t wanted to see him. When he understood that, it’s when the ache begun. He knew she was alright because he had discreetly asked his mom about her. But it still hurt, his heart was broken for the first time by the woman he thought it was the love of his life. 

In the months that came next, he felt how the sadness embraced him. His work friend, Poe Dameron, was the first one to notice the black aura that was around Ben, he didn’t speak, or eat lunch with his coworkers like they used to. When they bombarded him with questions about how he was feeling, it was when he realized he needed help. Gladly, his mother never noticed the sadness of his voice when he called. The denying phase wasn’t that long, he realized that he was seriously in a bottomless pit from which he could not get out without help, so he reached dr Amilyn Holdo. And there it was. 

Six months later, things started to look better, till he received the invitation. It was his parents anniversary and he was 98% sure Rey was gonna be there, of course she was gonna be there, she was his mom's right hand. His mistake has been telling Amilyn about it, because she was trying to convince him to go to the party. His mom had also called him several times asking him to go, arguing that he didn’t even needed to buy a present

After the appointment, he realized that he was getting more miserable while Rey was surely living the best. It was not fair. Then, he decided he would go to the party, but he wasn’t gonna go to the party alone, he would take a girl with him.

The thing was, Ben didn’t know that many girls. Or was even interested in knowing them, he cursed his inability to fall out of love with Rey. So, he asked his friend and coworker, Gwen, to go with him. She was a pretty, blonde, tall woman. And she was lesbian. Gwen accepted going with him to the party in exchange of a $300 massage spa package. Ben thought it was worthy. 


	2. unnoticed broken heart

**chapter 2: unnoticed broken heart**

  
Rey came back home after a long day of work. If she could even call home her lonely apartment, not even a plant or a pet waiting for her. The fridge was almost empty, just a few eggs and some rotten vegetables. Trash.

She thought the way her apartment looked was a reflection of how she felt, empty. And she knew the exact reason why. It was the same reason she can’t look at her bed the same way, or the counter, or the couch, or the shower, or every damn place in her apartment where she had sex with the most amazing man she ever met. And she had missed him so much in the last months. She didn’t deserve a man like that; affective, handsome, a real gentleman.

She was used to date the same kind of men all the time, the typical “bad boys” that lived in their mom’s basement, with no stable jobs and a terrible attitude. Yes, that was Rey’s type, basically awful guys that treated her like trash. But meeting Ben Solo was something Rey couldn’t believe. The son of her boss, the great Leia Organa, turned out to be the coolest guy she’s ever met. And when he asked her out, Rey wasn’t expecting that at all. 

She was used to late night hookups with guys she know she was never gonna see again, but someone asking her out for real? That surprised her, so it was very easy to say yes to such a charming boy as Ben. But back to reality, she was never gonna be good enough for him. That’s why she ran way from their secret relationship.

She thought she’ll forget him in two weeks. _Too bad it’s been 7 months and she still thinks of him every day._ She was a coward, and she also knew that. Always too scared of the good things that happened to her, that she ended up taking them away from her sight. Ben was the biggest example right now. But she had more important things to think about right now, her work.

Rey was helping Leia to plan her anniversary party, and the party would be something amazing, with catering, live music, entertainment, gift bags and all those things that rich people put on their parties that made them look so sophisticated. She thought it was dumb spending so much money for people who’s only gonna go to eat and criticize. But it wasn’t her money anyways. It was Leia’s money. 

Sometimes, Rey wondered how a woman as fantastic as Leia could have been her mother-in-law, although she had not even found out about the relationship she had with her beautiful son, because Rey had been a fool and had preferred to keep everything a secret, as if dating Ben was something that embarrassed her. Until now, Rey realized how bad it was to ask him for that.

She shook her head to put those thoughts as far away as possible, she wasn't going to gain anything by thinking about him 24/7. But Rey knew it was impossible, because no matter how much she tried to get him out of her mind, he was always there, she ended up relating it to the dumbest and most basic things that happened to her day by day. Whenever she saw a dog she ended up remembering how much Ben likes dogs, and all the kind of dumb stuff he likes.

After her mental talk of self-pity for the dumb things she had caused herself for being so stupid, she went to her bag and took the party invitation from Leia and Han. Could it be that Ben was going to the party? 

_She hoped so._

_She truly wanted to see him._

_She missed him._

_She loved him._

_Yes, she loved him._

She came to that discovery a few months ago after he stopped to try to reach her (ignoring him was so hard, but she managed). The realization came unexpected. She was dreaming about him, about them, cuddling together like they used to every morning. And later, she realized that she could be like that all her life, hugging him while he gave her soft kisses on her forehead, while they talked about irrelevant things. That was life. And she wanted to live it with him, but it was too late, she had had her chance and had thrown everything down the pipe for a moment of fear and anxiety.

She was ridiculous.

Poor Ben, she thought, he deserves a better woman.

Does he?

No.

_She’s the only woman for him._

Rey took a deep breath and told herself she was going to fight for her man. A time has passed but she is almost sure that he is not the kind of man that forgets that easy, right?

He better be ready because Rey was coming for her man, and god may help anyone that stomps on her way.

How was Rey going to make him forgive her? She had been a fool. For god’s sake, she was ridiculous, Rey would like to forget the facts that made her feel so terrible, like how she was the one who dumped his ass and then ghost him for a month. But the truth, the only truth is that she loved him.

And even if he didn’t wanted a second chance, she was gonna tell him that. Living through a lie wasn’t healthy. 

If he didn’t wanted her back it was ok, she told herself, he has the right to not to want me back after everything that happened. 

She hoped he would go to the party, maybe the crowded room would help her broken heart go unnoticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment and left some kudos so I’ll know who is reading this 🥺 thx


	3. I won’t bother you anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward reunion between our favorite dorks

The party was an amazing show, it was full of flowers, with beautiful lamps hanging from the ceiling that gave a beautiful appearance to the lighting of the great party room that Leia rented. Rey was nervous, she was one of the first’s guests to arrive.

Well, of course she had to be there early, it was her job to supervise that everything would be perfect as Leia planned. And it was, everything looked beautiful and full of live, a contrast on how Rey felt.

Her nerves were growing, she couldn’t think of anything but Ben. Rey had mentally gone over everything she wanted to say to Ben, mostly forgiveness.

By  8 pm , the guests started to show up. Everybody was dressed very fancy, it was a formal party of course. Rey could identify some couture dresses as Gucci, Versace, and Ralph Lauren, it was usual for women of such high social status to wear that kind of clothes.

Rey took another look at herself, she looked fine. 

Leia had insisted her so much to go to a beauty salon, and she did; the girl that who attended her had cut her hair a little, and had done a hairdo with some curly locks that were left on the sides of her face. She also did her makeup.

In the end, Rey thought she looked very pretty. The dress she wore was also nice. Unconsciously, Rey had chosen a black dress because somehow she wanted to go unnoticed by so many people. Specially Ben.

Rey was sitting next to a window, at the bottom of the place. She could see every person who arrived to the party from that place. 

Some minutes later she saw some friends who worked with Leia too and decided to join them, trying to pull the nerves apart for a few moments.

Rey greeted Finn with a kiss on the cheek, he was a consultor in the same team she was. And he came with another man, a little short but seemed nice.

“Rey, this is my boyfriend, Poe Dameron. He’s an accountant.” Finn said shyly, taking his boyfriend hand in his. Rey thought it was the cutest thing she had seen in days.

“Oh, a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dameron” she said politely, actually remembering him from work. Poe smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug. So enthusiastic, she thought. And also smiled.

“Hello, Rey, a pleasure meeting you too but please don’t call me that way, I’m only 32. Call me Poe, please, sweetheart” Rey only smiled and nodded.

Later, the three of them got involved in a talk where they discussed from the food, to who were the guests who owed more money to the bank, or the magnates present who cheated on their wives with girls 30 years younger than them.

Suddenly, Poe fixed his gaze on something behind Rey, opened his eyes a lot and took a big sip of his glass of champagne. She got curious but decided to ignore the impulse to turning back and see wathever surprised Poe. Unintentionally, the talk took a different direction...

“It’s that who I think it is, Finn?” said Poe, with a curious look in his eyes. Again, Rey suppressed the impulse of turning back. She watched their faces interaction only.

“Oh, indeed it is, and I wasn’t expecting to see him so well accompanied tonight.” Finn said, looking surprised. 

Rey couldn’t hold back anymore and asked who it was.

“It’s Ben Solo, Rey, your Boss’s son. And he's here with this stunning blonde, my dear friend Phasma.” Poe said, unbothered. And continued. “He and I work together, he’s a good friend”

Rey felt like a bucket of cold water was falling on her, and then, she turned around and she saw him. He was there, looking fancier than ever with an elegant black tuxedo, with a beautiful blonde girl hanging from his arm. 

Rey felt sick. 

But they could be just friends, right? She breathed and turned around to face her friends again.

“Wow, Phasma looks real fancy, like she belongs here.” Poe said, again, apparently they were colleagues from work as well. Finn only nodded.

Rey paled even more.

“So, they are a thing? Because I had never seen before Ben Solo with a girl in this kind of gatherings.” Finn asked, and then added “But yes, she does looks fancy as hell.”

Unintentionally, Rey turned again and saw the worst. Phasma was lacing her hands with Ben's as she kissed his cheek.That wasn’t something friends do. Rey couldn't see anymore, she walked away so quickly that she didn't hear what Poe answered..

“The thing is, Finn, that she’s lesbian. Weird, uh? I don’t know what she’s doing here with Ben.” Poe said. But Rey didn’t heard a single word.

Then, she was stumbled by Leia requiring her presence.

\\\

The day of the party started different for Ben Solo, he had to go to pick his tuxedo first of all.He felt so tired of everything, he didn’t have the slightest desire to go to the stupid party. But he had already spent $ 300 on dealing with Phasma, plus he had already told his mother that he would go. 

Disappointing his parents on their party day was a bad choice, so he would go, eat a little, drink a lot and probably be miserable. Maybe a little less miserable with his friend Phasma around. 

Phasma had forced him to tell her the real reason he was going to take her to the party, and Ben had no choice but to tell him the truth.

That he wanted to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.

Phasma agreed, apparently she also had a history with a somewhat cruel ex and wanted to help him. Although he admitted that she had years without playing the role of hetero, so maybe she would exaggerate a little bit. 

The plan was simple, he would pick up Phasma in his Mercedes and appear at the event somewhat late, attracting attention (although he only wanted that of a certain young woman named Rey). 

Phasma would play the role of the loving girlfriend, and he would have to put up with it for at least a little while.

It didn't seem like such a bad plan, the problem was to carry it out.

The worst thing of all is that Ben was cowering, Phasma was calling him all day to remind him that he had to be strong and dare to do it, that he could not stay stuck in his sadness and loneliness. 

He knew she was right.

So when 8pm came, Ben got dressed, took his car keys and went to pick up Phasma.

Phasma appeared with a dress that looked very expensive, in itself, everything she wore highlighted how beautiful she was. He observed how she said goodbye to her partner (that's right, Phasma had a girlfriend, but Ben did not know until Phasma told him that her partner had laughed a lot when she had told him about his proposal, but that it was okay with her to do so). He respected them. 

The journey was somewhat short, the party room was in one of the most luxurious areas of the city, near where he had grown up. 

By the time they got there, the valet opened the doors for them and they took their keys to park the car.

Ben mentally prepared himself to do the following step, while Phasma was already waiting for him with her hand extended to play her role as his girlfriend. How ridiculous everything was.

“Are you ready, dear? Now is not the time to flinch” she said, Ben only nodded. 

They entered the majestic hall and saw a large number of people, some familiar faces of course. 

They walked together (Phasma was glued, not to say stuck, on his arm) and they could tell how people were looking at him.

Of course, he was the prodigal son of those celebrated. And that's how he remembered that he had to greet them first.

Ben had been able to gradually strengthen his relationship with his parents thanks to Rey. She had told him many times that it was better to live without rancor. And in that way he was incredibly finally able to heed the advice his therapist had been giving him since he was a teenager.

Ben tried to erase those thoughts from his head and looked for his parents. Finally he saw them in the center of the track, waving to another couple. While Phasma was lacing their hands and surprised him by giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Let's go with my parents, they're over there" he said to Phasma, and she nodded, knowing her role.

By the time they arrived with Leia and Han, his mother was already following him, giving him a somewhat strange look.

Ben came up first and kissed his mother on the cheek, then a handshake on his father.

Phasma smiled kindly at them.

"Dad, mom, this is Phasma, my ... friend" ben did not know where he got the courage to speak. everything sounded unreal at the time.

His parents looked at him somewhat surprised, but they were kind to smile at their friend.

"A pleasure, I want to congratulate you on your anniversary, I wish you many more years of happiness together." Phasma said, shaking their hands. 

When least expected, Rey appeared next to Leia... she looked dull. she didn't even notice his presence.

Ben's stomach filled with a strange sensation when looking at her as beautiful as ever. Holy God. How uncomfortable everything was, especially when his mother had an indecipherable look on his face.

Finally, Rey raised his face and saw him, gorgeous, although with dark circles. But she couldn't ignore the great pain in her chest when she saw him holding hands with the pretty blonde.

Their gazes collided for just a second, but the energy they felt was still there.

Rey had to break the awkward silence.

"Did you need me, Leia?" she asked, somewhat formally. Leia nodded.

"Yes, I wanted you to come to greet Ben and his couple, they have just arrived" said the lady who had given birth to him. His dad looked funny at them, almost containing a laugh. 

Ben never said the word ‘couple’, and that's where he knew his mother knew everything. That she had somehow deciphered the truth of his strange "relationship" with Rey.

Damnit.

"Okay" said Rey, then turned to see them. "A pleasure, miss, I'm Rey. Hello, Ben"

She extended her hand towards Phasma and they both greeted each other, Ben could only nod in greeting. 

Hearing his name from her lips was almost a religious experience that Ben almost forgot, a lie, Ben would never forget everything her dirty mouth could do.

Phasma was not aware of the strange and uncomfortable interaction between his parents, Rey and him, but surely she already knew that the young woman his mother had called was Rey, especially after her formal greeting.

Han and Leia were giving each other knowing looks, surely everything was on purpose. Because they left quickly after Rey's greeting to Phasma, claiming that some old friends had arrived. And so, the 3 were left alone.

Rey cleared her throat and raised her head, Ben could see how she raised an invisible barrier. The question was why? She is not supposed to be affected by his presence, she did not love him.

Rey gestured for them to follow her and then Phasma took the opportunity to whisper to Ben: "She is your girl, right?" He only nodded. 

Rey was ignoring them, just seeing Ben with Phasma twisted her stomach, she really didn't have the necessary strength to endure that situation. But, the job was work, and she couldn't risk losing it.

"Here is the table of sandwiches, you can have what you want" then she went to the tables and pointed out their places "over there are your seats, if you like to sit down, and I think that is all, have fun" Rey tried not to make eye contact with either of them while giving them the little tour of the party. 

But she made a mistake, turned around and saw Ben. 

They both exchanged glances, and Rey couldn't help but notice the sadness and loneliness in his eyes. 

Ben also couldn't help but cross her gaze, and for some reason, he felt terribly sorry for her. It seemed dull, lifeless.

Rey turned around and walked away, feeling her eyes full of tears.

At that moment, Ben felt very guilty, he did not know why he felt that his heart was sinking when he saw her walk away. 

Phasma observed all their interaction of glances, and knew that neither of them had overcome their relationship. Getting in was a mistake, and Ben and Rey were fools. 

Ben was like a fool standing in the middle of the track, staring blankly at where Rey had headed. Phasma pulled him by the arm towards their seats, until then he reacted and followed her. Poor guy.

Phasma and Ben sat down, he was still very quiet. Hurt. Sad. 

It had been a bad idea, he shouldn't have gone. He still loved her. And a lot.

She loved him? It was still a mystery. But Ben had felt something so strange when his eyes collided, a feeling, something he had seen in his eyes that did not let his heart be at peace. 

He had a feeling that was telling him to go for it. But Ben was afraid that it would break his heart again, and that this time everything would be worse.

“Ben!! I’m talking to you, man” 

Ben reacted, and turned to see her, he was no longer in the mood to continue the charade.

"Phasma, I, I don't think I can go on with this, I think I will go home, I really hoped that this would be otherwise, but it still hurts, God" 

Ben buried his head in his hands, with the same feeling in his chest. But he couldn't. He just wasn't that strong.

“Ben, you’re an idiot, do you realize that girl looks as miserable as you? she obviously is hiding her feelings as well. Go. Talk. To. Her.” 

“I can’t” 

“Benjamin Solo Organa, don’t be a fucking coward and talk to that girl. Maybe you’ll even get something good out of this. Or not. The only way you’ll find out is talking to her, coward.” 

Ben told himself she was right, if he was going to remain miserable at least he was going to make the culprit of his suffering find out.

“Thanks, Phasma, you’re right.” he kissed her cheek. 

He stopped and walked around the room. He didn't see her anywhere. I try to think like her, if she really felt sad, Rey would try to hide. So Ben noted that the garden seemed very lonely, the party was inside. 

He had a feeling and went to the garden. 

He was surprised to see how beautiful it was decorated, lit with lanterns and flowers. It looked like something out of a movie.

Ben looked at a swing somewhat in the distance, and immediately knew that the person there was Rey. 

What was she doing there alone?

He walked with her, feeling that he had his heart in his hand. 

He got closer and closer and could not with the strong feeling in his chest.

Finally Ben saw her, she seemed very alone, looking into the void. He took courage and speak to her. 

"Rey." 

She turned at that moment, her cheeks full of tears. She tried to clean them but Ben still saw them. 

"Ben. Hello. Is everything alright? Does your mother need something?"

He shook his head. 

"Rey I-" 

Rey was faster and began to speak. She had waited for that moment and she couldn’t miss the chance.

"Ben, I love you. I know, I know that you no longer feel anything for me and I know that you are happy with her, God, the way she looks at you. I don't want to intervene between you two but seriously, I had to tell you this, I really felt really bad and then I realized how much I loved you. Sorry. I know I hurt you. "

Ben was speechless, surprised, he couldn't take in all what Rey had said. 

"Rey, but ..." She cut him off again. 

"Ben, let me talk, I won't bother you anymore. I just ... wanted to tell you, you don't have to feel guilty. I ... I understand if you don't want anything with me. But I had to get this out." 

Rey was already in tears when he finished talking. I turned to see him and he didn't react, he was just looking at her with an empty expression on his face. 

_ She didn't need any more answer.  _

Rey ran away. And by the time Ben reacted, it was too late because he couldn't reach her.

Damnit, he thought, I’m such a dumbass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back 🥰 I was so busy with school but I managed to finish this chapter, wait for the finale in the next days, leave some comments and kudos!!

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo, thx for reading this, it’s my first time posting a story in this platform so I’m kinda new in this page and English is not my first language, leave some kudos or comments if you like it, I’ll continue next week 🥰


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